Madness? This! Is! A Review!
I went to see 300 last night, an adaptation of Frank Miller's graphic novel about the Battle of Thermopylae. I've been seeing the trailers for a while and, having bought into the hype, was very excited. Let's face it: you don't need to add drama to a story like this. The drama comes built-in. And it was a true story; how cool is that? That said, once you run something like that through two sets of drama filters (a comic-book adaptation, and then a movie of the comic), some of the details become a bit fuzzy.
I don't need to see this movie again. It has its strengths, mind you; the visual sense (the colors in particular) is excellent, Spartan babes are hot, and the battle scenes are wonderfully messy. The actors and actresses are clearly enjoying their jobs, and that counts for a lot; it's not easy to pretend to be awesome in front of a green-screen. Like Sin City, the scenes in the movie are pretty much page-for-page identical to the scenes on paper. This is a good thing; as dismal as I think Frank Miller's artwork has become in recent years, he still has a keen eye for composing a scene.
I don't know what I was expecting from the movie, but it didn't deliver. This was not a movie about the Battle of Thermopylae; this was a movie about 300 superheroes fighting an army of Atomic Mutants being commanded by the love-child of Shaq and RuPaul. And, between battle scenes, everyone talking about how awesome the Spartans are. Everything is secondary to that; characterization is thrown out the damn window, and there's no gravitas to make us care about any of it. Pretty=good, and ugly=evil. That's about all you need to know to keep score on this one. If they had removed all the talky-bits, extended the fight scenes, and renamed the movie Spartans Killing Things, I'd have enjoyed myself more. There's no subtlety to this movie; quite the opposite. Any point to be made by the film is driven home not unlike a Spartan spear: with great force, a lot of shouting, and great pain on the part of the recipient.
Ultimately, the most valuable lesson learned here is that if you ever need to bribe a hunchback, use strippers.
I don't need to see this movie again. It has its strengths, mind you; the visual sense (the colors in particular) is excellent, Spartan babes are hot, and the battle scenes are wonderfully messy. The actors and actresses are clearly enjoying their jobs, and that counts for a lot; it's not easy to pretend to be awesome in front of a green-screen. Like Sin City, the scenes in the movie are pretty much page-for-page identical to the scenes on paper. This is a good thing; as dismal as I think Frank Miller's artwork has become in recent years, he still has a keen eye for composing a scene.
I don't know what I was expecting from the movie, but it didn't deliver. This was not a movie about the Battle of Thermopylae; this was a movie about 300 superheroes fighting an army of Atomic Mutants being commanded by the love-child of Shaq and RuPaul. And, between battle scenes, everyone talking about how awesome the Spartans are. Everything is secondary to that; characterization is thrown out the damn window, and there's no gravitas to make us care about any of it. Pretty=good, and ugly=evil. That's about all you need to know to keep score on this one. If they had removed all the talky-bits, extended the fight scenes, and renamed the movie Spartans Killing Things, I'd have enjoyed myself more. There's no subtlety to this movie; quite the opposite. Any point to be made by the film is driven home not unlike a Spartan spear: with great force, a lot of shouting, and great pain on the part of the recipient.
Ultimately, the most valuable lesson learned here is that if you ever need to bribe a hunchback, use strippers.
posted by Matt at
9:46 AM
2 Comments:
I felt pretty much the same about the movie. I was sorely disappointed. Some of the fight scenes were great, but overall, it sucked.
Favorite line from the movie:
Xerces: "It's not my lash they fear..."
WHOA!!! Hold it right there, freak! ;)
That was effing brilliant. Myself and everyone I was with were literally paralyzed with incredulous mirth.
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